More of the popular awards in easy to read top 10 format.

1. Best lookalike award. Adam Frost and Ronnie O'Sullivan (pictured). Both Cockneys too.

2. Avoiding the issue gardening journalism award.

Sunday Times 28/9/08 Annie Gatti talking to Toby Buckland. "Last week, however, Buckland was mired in controversy again after a newspaper report claimed he had recommended that gardeners use pesticides and peat – which, given Don’s organic stewardship of Berryfields, made it look as if his successor wanted to turn the clock back to a past, less green age. Outraged organic farmers denounced him, but – wisely, perhaps – he declined to be drawn into the row."

HW 18/9/08 Toby Buckland: "Even the gardeners at Kew, who have been peat-free for years, say some plants need a little peat in their potting mixes - citrus trees, for example. So if we talk about growing lemons, we'll recommend peat as one of the ingredients. We won't ignore the issue - we'll be honest to help viewers.

"Growing your own and saving food miles is the single most important thing you can do. And if that means you clear your allotment with glyphosate and then go on to be chemical-free, it's common sense."

3. Quote of the year (1) Sunday Telegraph gardening journalist Bunny Guinness. "What is a sub-editor?"

4. Quote of the year (2) Bunny Guinness: "I only drink champagne."

5. Headline of the year: Former male stripper Jamie Durie (pictured), Flemings Chelsea Flower Show Australia garden designer. "From hotpants to potplants." One of mine, I'm afraid. The London Paper liked it.

6. Most embarrassing conversation of the year. MA: "The Garden Writer Guild best trade journalist award judges know nothing about gardening - or journalism." Steve Dowbiggin: "I judged that award this year."

 7. Quote of the year (3). I once took some ADHD/wheelchair-bound kids I was teaching to a cricket match. One asked England player Chris Lewis, who this week has been charged with smuggling cocaine, if a fellow player the kids wanted the autograph of was in the dressing room. Lewis said: "I ain't no messenger boy." Not strictly horticulture, but Bristol had a lovely outfield.

8. Foot in it of the year award: Rachel de Thame for saying it's not important to be qualified to be a garden designer. Or a journalist, judging by this effort to disclaim. BTW, RdeT refused to appear on radio/TV after the story hit the national press. Wonder what the sponsors thought?

Rachel de Thame Sunday Times  18 May 2008. "As well as trying to build the garden, I had to deal with a stream of phone calls after several newspaper articles had taken out of context or misreported my comments that you don’t necessarily need a qualification in garden design to design a garden."

RdeT HW 1 May 2008: "Either you have an idea about how things should look as regards proportion and shape, or you don't. I do feel it would have been nice to understand the technical aspects of the building side of it. But I do not particularly rate it as the most important thing. The design side is something that can be coaxed out, but really it is innate."

9. How garden journalism works-why do I bother award. Spanner of the year Phil Voice reads about someone renting Christmas trees. He writes excitedly that this is a good idea. Someone, bizarrely, publishes this on their garden news website. That's it. As a New Year resolution, Phil, can you please get a job? Maybe something in IT support - you seem very interested in that.

10. There is no 10. I'm going on holiday. See you next year.

It’s nearly the end of the year so, just for fun, here’s my horticulture industry awards for 2008.

How to lose friends and alienate people award winners: Adam Frost, John Clowes, Rachel de Thame, Toby Buckland, Monty Don. Accidentally fell out during course of my work with but friends again now, apart from BBC ones who don’t know who I am and probably have better things to worry about.

Most bathetic line: “The 60s was the time of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. It was also when Deans Garden Centre in Scarborough was founded.” (Garden Trade News)

Most deluded: Phil Voice of Landscape Juice: “I’ve been writing about the world economy on my website for nearly two years now.” Phil mainly writes about his difficulties logging onto industry websites.

Beard of the year: Ken Crowther (bootstrap). Runners up: Martyn Cox (tidy) and Greg Loades (trendy)

Moustache of the year: Jamie Robinson (Westland-Edwardian - pictured). Runner up: Steve Welch (Wembley groundsman-Carolgees)

Picture desk of the year: Evening Standard. “We don’t use black and white photos.” (when sent a pic of Sissinghurst in the snow)

Press office least likely to answer the phone: RHS (though they're lovely when they do)

Press office least likely to know the answer when they answer the phone: Defra

Satirist of the year: Blog stalker Lionel Blair. MA: “Toby Buckland is caught between two stools.” Lionel: “You are a stool.”

Clown of the year: Garden Monkey to MA: “Your blog’s rubbish-not that I read it. I’ve got better things to do. And how dare you be anonymous.”

Unoriginal idea: ‘Hort Month’ horticulture news by Landscaper magazine. Wonder where that idea came from.